Traveled from Chiang Khong, which was pretty and interesting but no town per se…

To Chiang Saen, on the banks of the Maekhong River. Wat Chedi Luang and Wat Paa Sak.

I wanted to fill you in on one of my Indian adventures, this one actually in Thailand. It occurred toward the end of the trip, when I got a boat ride up the Mekong river delta, heading to the Golden Triangle, with the warm Thai New Year swirling all around. 3 days of what they call Songkrang, which means “Play Water.” And do they! Everybody throws water on everybody else. It’s like a nationwide water fight. And it’s wonderful. Old ladies, young people, all standing in front of their house or store, and nailing everybody! Boom! Soaking wet! So I wanted to go to this town full of ruins, upriver about 4 hours, or about the same time by bus, but it was proving rather difficult. I spent all morning walking around town with my pack trying to find the bus, but every direction was a contradiction, and I finally gave up. Went back to my original Jungle Huts, and was told there was no way to Changsean as all the bus drivers were drunk.

So I went down to the river, middle of the day, lots of blasting Thai rock and roll, a couple dozen fish and beer stands lining the riverfront, and tried there. It was a big festival down there, but regular boats weren’t running and nobody wanted to leave and take me. Spent an hour or so, offering one guy a commission if he finds somebody. After a lot of waiting without expectation, finally somebody comes along and explains there is a riverboat captain willing to boat me! But they wanted a thousand Bhat, about $22! An insane amount over there, but what can I do? I’m thrilled actually. And so head down to the docks and wait for the boat to give me the ride of my life up the Mekong river, with Laos on one side, Burma looming up ahead, my Nam moment finally upon me. So of course while sitting there waiting I decided to eat the acid. I dig it out, and it had all melted, or rather the Vitamin C I had smuggled it in on had turned molten, so I figgered it prolly wasn’t good anymore, what with 2 months in the Indian heat, so of course I ate it all. The boat comes, and it’s not one of the slow 4 hours boats, with the curly ends; it’s red and orange and yellow flames, the only speed boat in the region!

So here we go, flying up the Mekong river, old ladies in those triangular hats slowing fishing when we just blow by, four times faster than anybody else. Here comes the American making waves, but Charlie don’t surf! I noticed half way that I could not stop smiling, the river was parting into two rainbow waterfalls and I was on top of the warm, living, rushing water, flying! By the time I got to the town, my head was buzzing with the internalized motor and had undergone the pickle transformation. No way out now. I walked up the old moldy Marlon Brando steps, got to the top, and the town revealed itself in a shimmering opalescent glaze of steeping stupas, ramshackle brick streets and giggling soaking wet beautiful Thai women ( I am sure there were men too but I am just telling you what I noticed ). All along the waterfront there was a strip with cool shops and a bar right there at the top, very French. I stopped to have that beer. I was set, except that I was tripping and had no idea where to go what to do or where I would sleep. But there I was, in the midst of the water festival, soaking it up as it were.

A Thai guy shows up with a walkie talkie and sits down cavalierly. He’s seriously conspiring with whoever is on the other end, all this military terminology, he’s a bit drunk. And then the guy who he was communicating with came, an Israeli. The boss. Sat down. Neither regard me, though they are at my table. And then another. I was by myself, and now there’s 15 of ’em, Israelis! Louder than Russians, ruder than, OK, well, Russians, more sense of entitlement than Italians ( all this sounds prejudiced unless you have traveled ), I am overwhelmed. Cannot escape! A middle aged lady is pinching my cheeks, no I’m just dreaming it. It’s the loud, obnoxious middle aged Jewish singles tour package literally crowding me out of what had been my quiet single table!

So then I decided to go with it. They had a super high tech setup, with the most modern water arms and all with walkie talkies. They would fan out, attack, laugh it up, and move on. To be fair, this was happening all around, but somehow to see it executed by 15 Israeli’s with such precision freaked me out. We ended up bonding about as much as I was ready, able or willing to, more just glad I was able to finally stand back and enjoy the show, vs. let it terrify me. You have to understand, in the land I now was in, just 15 or 20 years ago, if somebody looking like me or these Israeli guys approached somebody looking like the people in my host country, here in the Golden Triangle, where Laos, Thailand and Cambodia all meet, not to mention Vietnam next door, hiding a giant gun behind their back, sneaking up on them, it would not be for fun.

Finished my beer, I wished them Happy Passover (which was the day before), and they said, No! Kosher Pesach, and I escaped from my extended religious family meltdown moment to find a place to stay. Did that, just a little cheezy flop house, (did not spend too long distracted in the room observing the fan), and then headed to find the ruins. But I did not expect to find Buddha’s collarbone, itself brought to the Temple of the Teak Forest a 1,000 years earlier.

(to be continued)…